It All Started with a Chicken
by nandeyane-ryosaku
Summary: What is the secret behind Ryoma's mysterious behavior? Find out why he kidnapped a chicken
1. Prologue

**IT ALL STARTED WITH A CHICKEN**

**Disclaimer: **For what is yours is mine, what is mine is yours, what is theirs is not mine, nor yours, nor ours… the truth definitely hurts…

* * *

He knew he had to hide. After all, the accusations were true. He couldn't escape the truth. Suddenly, he saw the lights and heard the blaring siren of the police cars. He was bound for jail.

"Stop!" a meek voice came from behind him. "Don't hurt him! He has the hostage."

Murmurs erupted. All eyes fell on the scene before them: a girl with waist-length brown hair, covering a young man with piercing eyes and good looks that could never be mistaken for a crime.

An officer drew a pistol from its holster, aiming it at the girl.

"Move or get shot."

The girl obliged timidly.

"You, release the hostage," he said, addressing it to the suspect.

Slowly, the boy withdrew his hands from behind his back, showing the hostage.

People were shocked. They started a commotion.

"Oh my god! Poor thing…"

"Come with us," the policemen said.

The boy did as he was told, dragging his body towards the car as if he was not himself.

* * *

"Echizen's in jail," Fuji said nonchalantly, brightly even.

"Usso!" Seven guys chorused right away. Two of them had their jaws dropping to the floor. One shouted along with the others but showed no expression at all. Another fainted, another cried for the loss of a most valuable test subject/teammate. One started gibing out comfort sushis as endorsements. The last one started his teddy bear.

"I saw him with the police on the way here."

"Why?" the captain said, not out of worry but, being the captain, he had no choice but to pretend to be worried/concerned/thoughtful.

"He was holding a chicken." A smile flashed. Snorts erupted. Soon afterwards, the tiny space allotted to the team was filled with roaring laughter. Words like "baka" and "o'chibi" were heard during the outbreak.

"Anyway, let's go there to congratulate him."

"You don't congratulate someone for being sent to jail."

"Who says so?"

"I do!"

"Do you think I'll ever listen to you?"

"Well, you just did!"

"Shut up, you two. Come one. Let's go to jail."

"Oishi, what have we done?!!? Why, oh, why must we go to jail?" Eiji cried.

"We'll not be locked up. We'l just clear Echizen's name," Oishi replied.

"We'll we need an eraser then?" Momo asked.

Seven pairs of eyes stared at him. But they just ignored him and stole a taxi cab, hired its owner as a taxi driver for none of them knew how to drive, stuffed Momo and Kaidoh in the trunk, and set off for the Warthogs national jail.

* * *

After thousands of eons, I've finally had the courage to write another fanfiction… I've missed this… let me reminisce for a while and enjoy writing stories…

For those who have read my other story (Irony), thank you so much, that you filled my inbox with alerts from …

*I'll let you guess who said some of the lines in this chapter…


	2. The Search for the ChickenLoving Master

**IT ALL STARTED WITH A CHICKEN**

**THE SEARCH FOR THE CHICKEN-LOVING MASTER**

**Disclaimer: **This is a fanfiction. Fans don't have their own rights. We must fight for our own!!!!!!!

Meanwhile, Echizen was being interrogated by the police. Under the swinging light of the hanging lamp, the policemen began to ask the boy with bright, blazing eyes, questions.

"Why did you get the chicken?"

"I had the desire for it."

"How come?"

"I don't know."

"But why, of all things to steal, is it a chicken?"

"I wanted to… to… please my master," the boy said innocently.

"Who is your master?"

"S… S… S…"

"Don't push it," one of the interrogators said. "At least we know that this master should be close to him and his or her name starts with an s." He pushed the intercom button and said "Troops, assemble! We now have a lead on the true mastermind."


	3. Part II of chapter 2

**IT ALL STARTED WITH A CHICKEN**

**THE SEARCH FOR THE CHICKEN-LOVING MASTER PART II**

**Disclaimer: **Please don't make me go through explaining this… AGAIN…

"Are?" Eiji suddenly exclaimed. He began to chase his tail… Or, in his case, his underside.

"Eiji-senpai, what are you chasing your butt for?" Momo asked, scratching his head.

"You're such a dimwit. He's not chasing his butt, he's looking for a coin. Fsshhh…"

"Who told you you can butt in, huh, Mamushi?" As usual, the bickering and squabbling began again.

"Oi, Eiji. What are you doing anyway?" Oishi asked, tapping his partner on the back slightly.

"Where did Fujiko go? I swear he was right-" but he got cut off by Momo who said "below you?"

"Stop being stupid, stupid!" Kaidoh said, obviously irritated by Momo's stupidity.

"Look who's talking: stupid!" Another round of shouting and commotion arose, but this time, Tezuka gave Taka-san his racket and let him do his job: Shout and terrify. Momo and Kaidoh mutually called it a truce, afraid of the swinging racket right under their noses.

"Where did he go?" Tezuka spoke while dust bunnies began to cross the screen.

* * *

"What now, Eiji?" Taka asked, finally relieved of the racket.

"Where did Oishi go? It seems that people who walk right behind me keeps disappearing. Hey, is this a prank? Because if it is, it's not funny. I'm thinking I'm cursed or something."

"Maybe there's a meeting for anime characters with awesome and not-so-awesome hairstyles." Momo suggested.

"Yes, maybe." Inui said for the first time in this facfiction. "There is a 45% chance of that happening."

"What about the remaining 55%, Inui-senpai?" Kaidoh asked, being the successor of Inui.

"It might be because of an interrogation that might happen."

* * *

"Inui! Where are you, Iui?"

"Never mind him. I'm glad he's gone. Him gone, juice gone, worry gone."

"Stop using wrong grammar!"

"Does anyone care?"

"I do!"

"So what?"

"Stop it. Don't make me use my tongue to the full extent."

* * *

"Where is Horio-kun?"

"Who cares? He does nothing but brag."

"You're right. Better not worry about him."

* * *

"Sakuno? Where are you Sakuno? It's me, Tomo-chan! Oi, Sakuno! Are you deaf?!!? Can't you hear me?!!? Are you going out with Ryoma-sama behind my back?!!? How dare you!!! I will never forgive you for this! Have you forgotten that today is a very unlucky day?!!? You should avoid people who are born in December!"

"Oh, shut up!"

* * *

"Choutaro, have you seen Shishido?"

"No, captain. Don't worry about him. He's probably taking his hair treatment today at the salon."

* * *

"Ne, fukubuchou, aren't you supposed to take buchou to the doctor?"

"That I will do after I've found him."

…after 1 hour…

"YUKIMURA!!!!" (that was the time Mt. Fuji lost its highest peak due to a tremendous sound wave)

* * *

"Our buchou is gone, our fukubuchou is gone… Whom shall I challenge, huh? This can't be! I'm surrounded by losers I'm forced to call senpai-tachi! It's the end of the world!!!!"

"If you want to audition for the drama club, they're accepting aspirants today at 4."

* * *

"Wow… Ryoma-kun looks cute in this picture… As well as Fuji-kun!"

"Excuse me, miss. Are you Miss Shiba from Pro-Tennis magazine?"

"Well, yes, I am."

Then she disappeared.

* * *

Sumire was walking down a very dark and scary looking street, feeling confident. Oh, come on! Who would even take interest in an old, wrinkly, woman?!!?

"Sumire-chan? Come to me, Sumire-chan."

"What? Oh, sure, why not?" (**A/N: **I know… How ironic, right?)

* * *

"Shinji Ibu, come with us."

"Why should I when I am still having a match against Kamio-kun? If I come with you, I won't be able to shove ten tennis balls into his throat as agreed upon. Unless you have an extremely large amount of money for me then I might come with you. Although, I still want to see Kamio-kun with ten tennis balls in his mouth…" and so on. (**A/N: **By this time, I'm really sleeping just by thinking about how long this will take *yawn*)

* * *

"Ooh, LUCKY da! I found money enough to bribe Akutsu to wear girls' clothes!"

"Feeling lucky, eh? Come with us."

"Sure… This is my lucky day, uh… stranger…"

_

* * *

In the airport…_

"Kevin Smith?"

"Sorry. I don't give out autographs."

"We're not here for autographs."

"I'm still not giving out my shades, ya know."

"Just get in the car."

"I won't agree unless it's a limo."

* * *

It's now late… can't think anymore… night night…


	4. Them and the Flickering Lightbulb Overhe

**IT ALL STARTED WITH A CHICKEN**

**THEM AND THE FLICKERING LIGHTBUB OVERHEAD**

**Disclaimer: **In my dreams…

"So," a voice said from the corner of the room. "You might be wondering why you were brought here."

Everything about this man was peculiar. He was wearing a silly leather overcoat, a silly hat, and he was sucking on a silly cigar. The most peculiar thing about him was his color: his face was pale as paper, and the rest was gray; like in those silly detective movies where everything was black and white.

He was facing thirteen people all cramped up in a single bench, all of their hands tied behind them, and all of them wearing different expressions:

Syusuuke Fuji was nonchalant as ever, smiling serenely at the detective dude.

Shuichiro Oishi had a really deep frown creasing his forehead, looking like a shriveled up century egg.

Sadaharu Inui was assessing his situation inexpertly. He was frantically trying to hide his manly green eyes behind his eyeglasses which broke during the commotion earlier (he was wrestled into the back of a pack mule and he had to endure an hour or so of being dragged because he fell off and the rope was still wound tightly around his waist). He tried to locate exits like windows, doors, anything. But it was impossible.

Satoshi Horio was wetting himself. That's all he did. Poor guy. Hopeless.

Sakuno Ryuuzaki was crying, not because she was under interrogation, but because she was being crushed between the hair-flipping Shishido Ryou (who's had a hair extension treatment) and the big guy Genichirou Sanada.

Shishido Ryou was busy flipping his hair away. He doesn't mind if strangers tied his hands up or shoved him into a room full of sweat and tears. As long as the hair is safe, he's happy.

Seichi Yukimura was having the time of his life. He felt happy because he can see people suffering. One of the people inside the room was having a nosebleed and was unable to use his muscles and was going blind. Temporarily.

Genichirou Sanada was busy trying to get near Yukimura. He kept on turning in his seat, not caring about the girl whose bones he was crushing.

Saori Shiba was using her mouth to click her camera's shutter. She was shouting at the policeman how she can call a policeman to arrest the policeman in front of her. She was also saying something about evidence and that she was not as old as she looks.

Sumire Ryuuzaki was being attacked by the symptoms of rheumatism and arthritis. "Oh, the pain!"

Shinji Ibu was doing nothing. He was the one who was having a nosebleed and was unable to move or see.

Sengoku Kiyosumi was doing kick boxing. He kept on kicking the air, saying that he was supposed to be lucky so the man should let him go.

Kevin Smith was irritated by the flickering light ahead so tried to bring his shades down by using his facial muscles. He looked stupid. Really.

All in all, the thirteen people in there had two things in common: one is the fact that all of them are suspects of something, two is they all have an S, either in their first or last names. One of them might be the mastermind behind the chicken-napping.


	5. The Interrogation Begins

**IT ALL STARTED WITH A CHICKEN**

**THE INTERROGATION BEGINS**

**Disclaimer: **I have no rights (just lefts)

"The name is Mac," the detective said, his feet treading the rough concrete lightly. He was undoubtedly experienced in this kind of thing. He had a menacing look to him – a gaunt face, folded arms, and a raspy voice. Even Sanada and Tezuka would look like sissies compared to him. "You are all here because you are all suspects of a crime so detestable, I can't wait to behead the one who did it!" he roared. The tension inside the room went up a notch. Every movement stopped and every breath seemed ragged. He continued prowling around the suspects, pausing slightly to sniff at Sakuno's hair. She cringed, but showed no sign of retracting away. "Of course, you have the right to remain silent."

"Yes, we do. And we also have the right to call our lawyers!" All eyes were on Kevin Smith now. Some thought he was brave, some thought he was plain stupid to even shout at their captor like that.

"I am aware of that. You may call your lawyers... _if you even have one_," Mac said, slowly heading towards Kevin. He grabbed Kevin's collar and spoke silently, "What about it, kid? Where's your lawyer? Who's gonna defend you, huh?" He paused, looked around, as if waiting for a reply. "That's right! NO ONE! No one would be willing enough to stand for you!" He laughed. It was perfectly terrifying. The light bulb overhead continued to sway ominously. "I am now going to ask you some questions. If you don't answer truthfully then it's the dogs for you."

"Hey, I love dogs!" Horio said.

"You do, don't you?" Mac said, showing him a sadistic smile. "Then, why don't you be the first one to hang out with them?" He clapped his hands, and from behind a concealed door on the wall came a man heavily padded with protective gear, holding the chains of three ferocious large Rottweilers. He crouched down to Horio's level and whispered, "You love dogs, huh? Well let's see if you can love them after this!"

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry! I hate dogs I hate dogs I hate dogs!" Horio screamed but the man holding the chains can barely hold the dogs in place. Mac clapped his hands again and the door shut.

"Is there anyone else here who loves dogs?" His eyes scanned every face in the room. And if terror was to be defined, it would definitely be this man.


	6. Face to Face with THE Man

**IT ALL STARTED WITH A CHICKEN**

**FACE TO FACE WITH **_**THE **_**MAN**

**Disclaimer: **RESPECT, dudes... respect

* * *

The room was dimly lit. A metal table was at the center, with 14 around the table. A single glass was sitting on the table, filled with Ponta. It was now time for the individual questioning to begin. Mac let the interviewees sip a little bit of the Ponta; every single one of them. Mac started off with Fuji Syuusuke:

"Where were you this morning at around 10?" Mac said, facing Fuji in a hunched position.

"I was taking pictures of my cacti in my room," Fuji said, flashing that innocent smile.

Mac intensified his gaze. "What exactly is your connection to Ryoma Echizen?"

"He is my teammate. I can't say we're really close though, but it doesn't mean that I'd have a motive in forcing him to kidnap someone – and a chicken at that."

The detective eased a little bit and said, "You may wait outside." He gestured to the bolted iron door. To his surprise, Fuji stayed on his seat.

"I would not go anywhere unless you tell me that my teammates will be safe," he said, his striking aqua eyes surveying Mac's face.

Mac sighed and said, "I assure you. Oh and by the way, a bear, a swallow, and a white whale are waiting outside for you."

With that, Fuji closed his eyes, smiled, and left.

* * *

(Interview with Oishi)

"Excuse me, sir, but what exactly is going to happen to me?" Oishi said, fidgeting in his seat.

"Don't worry, son, you'll be fine as long as you tell you truth."

Oishi sighed, brows furrowed. "I'm afraid I can't do that, sir. I can't tell you about the time my dad tried being a barber. I can't tell you about the time Tezuka laughed; it was when he heard me singing karaoke. I can't tell you how much Eiji means to me. I can't tell you how good a secret keeper I am. I can't. I just can't."

"..."

Oishi slowly raised his head up, looked into his captors eyes, and dramatically said, "I am Oishi Shuichiro, and I am a true friend!"

"Okay, you may go."

Oishi started. "I can?"

"Thanks for being truthful."

And so, Oishi left the room, baffled, perturbed, and utterly pleased with himself.

He was a good boy. He'd better have a nice haircut after this.

* * *

(Interview with Inui)

"How are you related to Ryoma Echizen?"

There came no reply from Inui. He just sat there, staring blankly into space without his glasses on. Mac waved his hand in front of Inui's face and tried to slap the boy out of reverie. But to no avail.

Finally a breakthrough: "All is lost. I can't live anymore. No more data, no more info, nothing!" He started crying. "I see a light. It's so bright! Is this the end for me?" Inui smiled, completely out of his mind.

Mac slapped his forehead. He took a pair of glasses out of his pocket and gave it to Inui. "Put it on," he said.

Inui did, and suddenly he changed. "Did you know that most people use only 10% of their brains? But I personally don't believe in that for in every action, there is a corresponding electromagnetic charge from the brain and, according to research, we use 15% of our brains even at rest!"

Mac slapped his forehead again. "This is going to be a long day," he thought.

So he let Inui go, seeing that talking to the boy would be pointless.

* * *

(Interview with Horio)

Up until now, Horio is still wetting himself. It must be because of the Ponta.

"I would like you to leave this room this instant! You're making it musty!"

Instead of doing what he was asked to do, he wetted himself even more, then he fainted.

Another facepalm.

* * *

(Interview with Sakuno)

"You're pretty, aren't you?" Mac said, rising from his seat and walking over to Sakuno.

Sakuno bowed her head and said, "Get away from me, creep!" There was nothing normal about the way she said it. It was fierce, strong, and threatening even. Not like the usual Sakuno.

"And feisty, too. What exactly is your relationship with Ryoma Echizen?"

"That's not your business. Stay away from me." She said, swatting away Mac's hand.

Mac squinted his eyes, and said, "You better watch your tongue, missy."

Sakuno stared back, her eyes fired up with anger.

* * *

(Interview with Shishido)

"So... what do you think of my hair?" Shishido said, flipping his hair to the right.

"I think they're pretty," Mac said mockingly.

Shishido blushed. "You think so?" He tucked his hair behind an ear, then he got hold of himself. "Hey! No one calls my hair pretty other than Choutaro!"

"Okay I take back what I said. I think they're hideous."

Shishido cooled down a bit and said, "I can go with pretty."

"So who is Ryoma Echizen to you?"

"Well, he called Atobe a monkey king... so he's fine with me. No point in kidnapping a chicken, though. I mean what sort of idiot would waste time in kidnapping a chicken instead of fussing with his hair. Tsk tsk. He obviously doesn't know how to prioritize."

"..."

* * *

(Interview with Yukimura)

"Good afternoon, sir," Yukimura smilingly said. He's just so charming in his own way.

"Good afternoon yourself. What do you know about the chicken?" Mac roared, apparently losing his temper with this bunch of probable hostiles.

Yukimura touch a temple thoughtfully. He thought hard for a minute or two then said, "I do know that it tastes good with gravy. Have I told you that Sanada makes good gravy? And he looked so cute with an apron on while making gravy. If you ask me, Sanada is pretty much like gravy." Another smile from the almighty captain of Rikkai University.

At one end of the room, Genichirou Sanada did the most impossible thing for him to do: he actually smiled. This must mean the situation is extremely dire.

* * *

(Interview with Sanada)

"It's your turn, Gravy. Hit me with your best shot."

"You seriously don't want me to do that," Sanada said, who somehow recuperated from the smile. I'm sure his facial muscles hurt a lot after that.

"Well, who is Ryoma Echizen for you?"

"He is a brat. That's all I can say."

"Okay, Gravy. Whatever you say."

Sanada smiled again. Oh no. This looks really bad for our characters. Two smiles in one hour? It has to be a world record!

* * *

(Interview with Shiba)

"You know, Mac, you can always just set me free then I might give you a once-in-a-lifetime chance to go out with me." Then came the awkward silence. "I'm not as old as I look, you know!"

"We'd better get you some medical attention right now."

* * *

(Interview with Coach Ryuuzaki)

"Coach Ryuuzaki, what do you think of Ryoma Echizen?"

"I'm gonna have to say that he is a lot better than his perverted father. Did you know that that old geezer used my credit card to order his porn magazines online? When I found out, the publisher of the magazine thought I was a lesbian! The nerve of that bastard!" With her eyes and veins popping out, Mac decided to send her to Germany to undergo rehabilitation. She had anger management issues.

* * *

(Interview with Shinji)

His nose was still bleeding so Mac let him go. Which was a good choice since if it were not for the nosebleed, the interview would not be finished until the next month.

* * *

(Interview with Sengoku)

"Do you still think that you're lucky?"

"Yes, compared to Echizen. If he was after the ransom, he should've just went to me and maybe some of my luck would've rubbed off on him!" He laughed, rather loudly that in some other room, Ryoma felt that he was being mocked.

* * *

(Interview with Kevin Smith)

"How are your sunglasses, Kevin?"

"They're fine, aren't you, my Sunny?"

"What sort of person names his sunglasses?" Mac thought.

"So about Echizen—" Mac said, but Kevin cut him off.

"He's a good player. But I didn't think that he'd be so low as to kidnap a chicken."


End file.
